people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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