My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
