just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
