before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I have feelings that need drinking.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
