Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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