I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
