It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Pants are for mortals
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
