Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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