Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
