I'm going to jail i love you
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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