She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
