Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
This can only be settled by a dance off.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
