i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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