help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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