my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
