I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
