Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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