That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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