so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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