Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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