You work out of a Hotel?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
