chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I wear drunk well.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
