my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
