i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I need to calm my uterus...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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