sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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