i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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