You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
