I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My dick has a subreddit
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
