This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
