my phone needs a breathalizer
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
