Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
