i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
