You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize