he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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