Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
