In the future we'll all be gay
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
