Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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