Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
