I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
