Your dad touched me again.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
