she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize