i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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