i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
