so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
