you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
