mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
