I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You ruined the universe
Randomize
