I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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