I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize