Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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