i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
