I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
