He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
