I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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