hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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