DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
