he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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