Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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