Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
