Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife

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(559): View more from California

That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!

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(512): View more from Texas

Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?

(830): View more from Texas

its hotter. Way hotter.

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(951): View more from California

now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Longest 30 seconds of my life

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

10/10 so not recommended

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