I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
